The week we learned we would lose our child, I ‘happened’ to be preparing a sermon on Romans 8:31-39.
This passage is the culmination of one of the most cherished chapters in the Bible. It’s a dramatic crescendo of the beauties and riches of the gospel. However, there is tension in the build-up. Some of the most amazing truths one can know are written alongside some of the most agonizing experiences one can go through. But God’s promises and our pain do not clash, they work in harmony together.
The point for those who are in Christ is this: Trials will come, but triumph is certain. God is for us. God is with us.
The same week I was diving deep into this passage, our own trial was stirring.
“It’s a boy.” Joy flooded our hearts at the 18-week anatomy scan and we instantly began dreaming about life with our son. But 45 minutes after getting home, fear overtook wonder when the doctor called to ask us to come in later that day. We knew something was wrong but had no idea how dark our lives were about to become. We tried to distract ourselves as we waited for three, grueling hours until our appointment.
At one point I was so overwhelmed that I dropped to my knees to cry out to the Lord. I desperately asked for help, anchoring my prayer with the promises I had been studying that week.
“God…You’re for us…You’re with us…”
Later that day we learned the news that has been strangling our souls ever since. Our son would continue growing in the womb, but his death was imminent. If he survived delivery, he would not live long enough to come home. This ripped each one of my fingers off of the very promises I had clung to, setting into motion a nightmare that continues to this day.
Since that moment my faith has been weak, my love has gone cold, and my hope has grown dim.
But my uncertainty and instability do not change what is true. Through the finished work of Christ, we are forever fastened to a conquering love that will outlast any storm. We will waver, but our confidence is in the one who carries us. And he will exchange our groans for glory one day.
God is for us. God is with us.