Our Son’s Name

Our Son’s Name

We had been confronted with the unimaginable. Our first child would continue growing in the womb, but he was diagnosed with a condition that guaranteed his death. Terror was added to agony as we were presented with the option to terminate the pregnancy. But the...
Carrying My Son

Carrying My Son

The day had finally come. Three months of anticipation did not make our son’s funeral any less surreal or suffocating. My wife and I had somehow survived the week after returning from the hospital, our lives now reduced to mere existence. Sleepless nights. Colorless...
Courageous Love

Courageous Love

Since the day we learned that we would lose our first child, I have cursed the circumstances that forced me to be a bystander as my family suffered. I could do nothing to save my son’s life or protect my wife from devastation. But walking alongside Jillian in the...
My Son Made Me Sing

My Son Made Me Sing

After we found out that my wife was pregnant, I began to think about what bedtime routines would be like with our first child. I knew I wanted to sing to him, remembering the countless nights my mom sang hymns at my bedside growing up. A ukulele seemed more fitting...
Our Little Warrior

Our Little Warrior

Fatherhood has cut me deep with the intertwining of joy and sorrow. Losing Eli has carved out a permanent cavity in my soul, but with his brief life he filled my heart in the way that only a son can. And while these extreme depths of despair and delight are vastly...
We Chose You

We Chose You

Knowing our son’s fatal diagnosis destroyed us. But we somehow had to reassemble ourselves from the ruin and face the decision that was before us: terminate the pregnancy or carry to term. Having a choice in all of this haunted our souls, thrusting us deeper into the...