Our Son’s Name

Our Son’s Name

We had been confronted with the unimaginable. Our first child would continue growing in the womb, but he was diagnosed with a condition that guaranteed his death. Terror was added to agony as we were presented with the option to terminate the pregnancy. But the...
“He was…is…”

“He was…is…”

Author’s Note November 7th, 2018. I have just finished writing this post when my wife, Jillian, calls me to tell me her water broke – ten weeks earlier than expected. Labor has started, initiating the birth and death process of our son, Eli.   I share this...
Carrying My Son

Carrying My Son

The day had finally come. Three months of anticipation did not make our son’s funeral any less surreal or suffocating. My wife and I had somehow survived the week after returning from the hospital, our lives now reduced to mere existence. Sleepless nights. Colorless...
My Son Made Me Sing

My Son Made Me Sing

After we found out that my wife was pregnant, I began to think about what bedtime routines would be like with our first child. I knew I wanted to sing to him, remembering the countless nights my mom sang hymns at my bedside growing up. A ukulele seemed more fitting...
Our Little Warrior

Our Little Warrior

Fatherhood has cut me deep with the intertwining of joy and sorrow. Losing Eli has carved out a permanent cavity in my soul, but with his brief life he filled my heart in the way that only a son can. And while these extreme depths of despair and delight are vastly...
Unanswered Prayer

Unanswered Prayer

Jesus encourages us to pray with expectation, “Ask and you shall receive.” We read multiple stories of parents with sick children taking Jesus up on this offer, followed by him healing their dying sons and daughters. But my cries as a father have been met with...