Laments of a Father

Stories about the love and loss of our son, Eli.

Our Son’s Name

Our Son’s Name

We had been confronted with the unimaginable. Our first child would continue growing in the womb, but he was diagnosed with a condition that guaranteed his death. Terror was added to agony as we were presented with the option to terminate the pregnancy. But the...

“He was…is…”

“He was…is…”

Author’s Note November 7th, 2018. I have just finished writing this post when my wife, Jillian, calls me to tell me her water broke - ten weeks earlier than expected. Labor has started, initiating the birth and death process of our son, Eli.   I share this...

Carrying My Son

Carrying My Son

The day had finally come. Three months of anticipation did not make our son’s funeral any less surreal or suffocating. My wife and I had somehow survived the week after returning from the hospital, our lives now reduced to mere existence. Sleepless nights. Colorless...

Reflections in Suffering

Sharing honestly from the storm.

A Family of Fighters

A Family of Fighters

I wept with aching joy last year when I received mini boxing gloves from one of Eli’s uncles. “Little" and "Warrior" are embroidered on each hand, the nickname we gave our son because he regularly had his fists raised during ultrasounds. He did it so often that our...

Lamenting Now

Lamenting Now

“A church that goes on singing happy songs in the face of raw reality is doing something very different from what the Bible itself does.” - Walter Bruegemann Right now, in the midst of this global pandemic, the weight of isolation is increasing. The case count is...

Steadfastness

Steadfastness

James 1:2 is one of several verses that circulates in the face of suffering, one that's getting more airtime now as we respond to this pandemic. “Count it all joy, brothers, when you face trials of various kinds.” But we can easily misinterpret James’ words as a...